Friday, October 1, 2010


But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart. 1Samuel 16:7

People judge character by the outward appearance. This is the root of low self esteem issues in our society. Even when you hear men talk about what they are looking for in a wife. The first thing that comes out of their mouth and 75% of their requirement is "appearance". Then they spend the rest of the marriage comparing her to what appears to look better than she does. Women fall in love with a man's features and may not even know him. Then they spend the rest of their lives despising who he was all along. People judge other's character based on the clothes they wear, their hairstyle, their jewelry, their makeup, their car, their home, their occupation etc. None of these things make up that person. Some people even equate appearance to Godliness. I'm not talking about a dress code this time. I am talking about saying one person dresses nice for the Lord. The next person doesn't represent God well by the way they dress. I think all of these perceptions are PURELY flesh. We are supposed to be "Christians" meaning Christ like. The scripture never made any point to describe how well maintained he was, nor how attractive he was. As a matter of fact it made a point to indicate that there was nothing about him that would cause him to be disireable. Why? Because that would overshadow his purpose. We should look presentable and be clean, but people shouldn't be rejected for looking ordinary. If that is the case you don't really value that person for who they are. Neither do you love them. There will be times that a man will see his wife at her best and her worst. If he does not love who she is he will not stay with her when she is at her worse. Unfortunately in our society and churches that is acceptable. Why would I say that, because people are being taught how important "appearance" is. Our children are being taught that you need to dress a certain way in order to be accepted. Adults try to deter them from this "myth" but it is reinforced in adulthood. I am not saying look like a bum, or a gang member, a hooker, or such. I am not saying look like you have no respect for yourself. I am saying that dressing plain, or moderately is perfectly ok, and is the way that Paul taught us to dress in the first place.

The older I grow (soon to be 39 Thank you Jesus) the more I accept myself for who I am. If  a man does not find me attractive then he needs to keep searching. I am not going to change who I am  for anyone. I shouldn't be required to do that. You should love your spouse for who they are. If you don't like the way they dress, the hairstyle, or length of their hair, the perfume or cologne that they wear, how they talk etc. then you need to find what you like. Don't try to make them become what you want. Don't leave someone that you married when you knew what they were when you married them. Then go and talk about them like it was their fault. You married them now you need to learn who they are and accept them for that. Or if you leave them just say you made a mistake. They were not what you wanted.

The problem is not people's appearance it is the lack of love and God in their lives. Of course God is love....... We need to teach our children proper values. Teach them to value themselve by valuing ourselves, each other, and them. When people have the right values they search for the value (virtue) in their potential mate. That is what they should fall in love with. That is what is sound and enduring. That is what lasts, because good looks deteriorate. You can't keep a husband or wife with looks. That is a lie. If it were true half of adulteries would not occur. You are faithful in your relationships due to the love, and respect for your spouse. Neither of those have anything to do with looks. Your flesh on it's best day does not please God. Your soul is what he wants. The devil doesn't even want your flesh. That's why he tries to destroy you when he is done using you. It is your soul he wants.

Love yourself for who you are. Love others for who they are.